Inside my head is a vacuum;
Dust sucks up through my rectum.
If I get an idea,
It comes in through my rear—
I call it anal detection.
Hail to the Chief
Obama, they say, is our president,
Although he’s an alien resident.
He tries to make laws
While dressed in his drawers.
Do you not think he is decadent?
They're putting the chains on him now
For having sex with a cow.
He thought she'd enjoy it,
But he only annoyed it.
"Next time I'll go with a sow!"
Rachel Maddow’s a dyke,
But the kind you really can like.
She says it’s not fair
To be gay and so square,
But it’s better than being a kike!
A merry young Negro named Rufus
Was often mistook for a doofus.
He went and invented
A machine so demented
They had to call him a genius.
Taking His Own NO₂?
I heard of a dentist so painless,
You'd really think he was brainless.
For instance, he couldn't
Extract, or he wouldn't.
He was not only dumb, he was strainless.
“You’ve got your brains in your anus,”
Heard a famous critic quite heinous.
“You give bad reviews,
So I’ll tell you the news—
If you blew a good fart you’d be brainless.”
There was a young lady of Ypres,
Who smiled as she wielded her camera.
She was not very good,
And that’s why the natives did eat her.
On top of Ol' Smoky he lost her,
Just when he thought he'd betroth her.
She had better sex
With John, Dan or Tex,
But the poor boy couldn't exhaust her.
When Tommy goes down to the dock,
He takes in his hand his cock.
He gets in a tussle
With his circumcised muscle
And cums right into his sock.